Fun Home by Alison Bechdel

A new kind of book for me - both as a graphic novel and as what I would call an archival memoir.  Bechdel picks apart her own life to an intense extent in an attempt, I think, to make sense of it or perhaps to elevate it to the level of art. 

Often I didn't appreciate this meticulous detailing followed by a forceful insistence on the meaning of those details.  It seemed incredibly heavy-handed.  I still feel that way about this book. 

But there were moments of brilliance in reading this.  Most of these moments concerned the author's father.  I loved the sketch of him on the first page.

I got a strong impression that there was something about this person that had deeply affected the sketcher.  That there was something about him she wanted to talk about.  Whether Bechdel approached doing this with a heavy hand or not, that raw need to say something from the first page was very clear.  And I was interested in what she wanted to say because I assumed that if someone affects you that much there's a reason why.  I assume that a lot actually - and I don't know if I'm correct in doing so. 





In general, this is a book about the author's father and the family he created.  It's about that curious fact of how we are intimately connected with our parents - but so unaware of them as the individuals they were before us.  If we chose to try and discover who that person was - that's something we don't do until much later in our lives or perhaps we never pursue that knowledge.  It is an age old question: can I understand myself without understanding where/who I come from?

This book is also about sexuality.  Homosexuality was what tied the author to her father most - he was a closeted gay man.  It is unclear whether exploring sexuality is this books prime objective or a byproduct of an attempt to understand her father and his suicide.  Either way, sexuality is a major character in this book. 

A homosexual is someone who lives outside of what many consider to be the norm.  Whatever the truth is, this author alludes to the strength this marginalization gives to a homosexual.  I don't know if I believe this.  Lately, I've been thinking about what it means to be an outsider.  To me it always means that you experience life in a way many people are not familiar with and do no account for.  There are MANY different ways of being an outsider.  Only some of them are truly substantial - by that I mean based on something that is a mainstay of your character.  For example, there are people who dress differently and this brings them a certain amount of attention - they may be viewed as different or an outsider based on their appearance.  But this is a transitory, superficial consideration of that individual - next year it may be completely obsolete.  However, if you are a homosexual or perhaps autistic - what makes you an outsider will always be there.  The basis of your outsiderness is a fundamental part of your character and so it cannot be shed.  Perhaps, you want to shed it but if you feel that way you are going to be miserable.

However, whether your outsiderness is superficial or subterranean in and of itself it does not make you an elevated individual.  You are not necessarily special because of your uniqueness.  This seems strange and I have often been tantalized into concluding that, yes, "I am special because I am unique in this way."  I think Bechdel wants to do the same thing based on her sexual identity.  She talks about how homosexual people have been responsible for great leaps forward in social thought or have supported radical artists that eventually were appreciated for their great abilities.  She wants to believe that only homosexual people could have taken those chances because they live on the outskirts of society.

Don't get me wrong - I think that being marginalized sometimes does inevitably lead you to be more open to radicalness in many ways.  But, as always, it's always about the individual as a whole.  You're not only a homosexual, you are a woman, you are a caucasian, you are of this belief or that class or this personality, etc.  You cannot separate the parts from the whole when getting to know a person. 

I'm easily tempted into simple solutions, thoughts, paths, etc.  I always have been this way and it is a colossal habit to try and alter in any way.   But these days, for a long while really, I know that this quality does not serve me.  It serves me up to all kinds of trouble/mistakes/devastation/regrets.  So I was wary of accepting Bechdel's conclusions about sexuality at times. 

But it was clear that it was the common ground between her and her father.  That I did understand and didn't question.  Her conversations with him about sexuality or her musings about his life experiences as a gay man were the best parts of this book.  And who doesn't appreciate family drama?  This is a good story about that topic.  I'm glad I read it - but it was not a great novel or anything.  Mostly, I'm glad I attempted something new.