A favorite...

I find this true.

I'm a very black and white person.  For many years I've felt that was going to be one of my qualities that would be disruptive to my life.  It's an inflexible way to think - and in this world that forces compromise, it's easy to sense how such a mindset could cause trouble.

So, if "good" and "bad" are relative terms - that is to say you cannot put those words on certain actions/things and they'll stick to them each and every time - then there's no road map to deciphering anything.  Which, not so oddly, is the theme of this blog.  My desire to have a key/map to make deciphering what confuses me easier because the confusion overwhelms me.  Because I don't think well on my feet.  No such map/key exists because nothing stays the same.  The desire for one wasn't exactly what made me a poor person - but some of the things that I've stubbornly done to make it all fit in defiance of the way of things have made me a poor person. 

I get frustrated assuming that I'm the worst there is - that no one else has sunk to the depths I've been able to in this life.  And I've met a lot of people who have reinforced that belief (whether intentionally or not).  One thing those experiences have taught me is the truth of this graphic.  No one is perfect.  Don't try to be perfect for anyone else.  It's a zero gain venture.  What matters is that your sensibilities are similar.  That the problems/foibles/concerns you have are not worsened by them - that you don't bring each other down as you struggle to finds ways of living that work for you both.  Same goes for other types of relationships - between yourself and your passions/hobbies/career whatever - seek for a buoyancy in them.  Don't ask them to be perfect and don't ask yourself to be perfect for them.  Explore the thing as it is and ask - does its demons play well with your own?  And then for the hardest part - at least as far as I'm concerned - if the answer is "no" - I would have to fiddle with this situation because naturally that buoyancy is not there - then don't continue.  I struggle with this because I'm not an accepting person - particularly of the things that I don't want to hear because they would blow my "map" my "plan" to smithereens.  This is all I've seemed to learn so far.  That these are my habits, this is what the world does in response, and what I wish I could change my course to accepting.